Question From:

Servant of God in Kalasan, Yogyakarta

 

Question:

1. How many years until the age of a father still responsible for their children in terms of livelihood, religion and behavior?

2. If there is a child who is not liked by his parents, like he was an apostate or embrace a religion other than Islam, drunkards, gamblers or criminals. Can the parent isolate (decided kekeluargaannya)? Similarly, if the child is entitled to the inheritance apostate from their parents?


Answer:

Obligations and relationships of parents to their children can be distinguished on two things, namely obligations that are material and non material. Liability in the field of material, among others, provide a living according to his ability, as stated in the letter of the word of God at-talaq paragraph 7:

 

لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن سَعَتِهِ ۖ وَمَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّهُ ۚ لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا مَا آتَاهَا ۚ سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا

 [الطلاق (65): 7]

 

It means: "Let the people who are able to give a living according to his ability, and the people who collapsed rezkinya should give a living from the treasure given by God to him. God does not impose the burden to someone, but merely what God gave him. "

Included in the criteria to give a living is meeting their education costs. Limit the liability of parents to give children a living is to become an adult and able to stand alone or can earn a living themselves. Therefore, even if not yet an adult but can be independent, it is still in the study period, for instance, then a living is still a dependent parent. Al-Quran and Hadith the Holy Prophet did not say for sure how old these adult. In the tradition just mentioned that the sign Aqil daughters who can accept or bebanan taklif, especially in the matter of worship is for boys when they are ihtilam / dream, while the women when they are menstruating.

The obligation of parents to their children who are non materially include intangible: the love, protection, maintenance, education and teaching as well as accountable to God. The goal is for our children to be children who qualified for the benefit of society. Allah mentioned it to the criteria zurriyyah tayyibah in his word letter to al-Furqan verse 74:

 

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا[الفرقان (25): 74]

 

It means: "And those who say: Our Lord, anugrahkanlah us our wives and our offspring as penyenang liver (us), and we make the priest for those who fear Allah."

Also as mentioned in the letter of Ali Imran verse 38:

 

هُنَالِكَ دَعَا زَكَرِيَّا رَبَّهُ ۖ قَالَ رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً ۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ[آل عمران (3): 38]

 

It means: "That's where Zakariya pray to his Lord saying:" My Lord, grant me from Thee a progeny that is. Thou art He that heareth prayer "."

The order to educate our children in order to become a Muslim child properly, is also shown in the word of God a letter at-Tahrim paragraph 6:

 

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْوَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ[التحريم (66): 6]

 

It means: "O ye who believe, guard yourselves and your families from the Fire ..."

The obligation of parents who are non-material to realize the child who berkriteria zurriyyah tayyibah, which limits its responsibility until the child becomes an adult, able to determine his own destiny. Therefore, if parents have tried to educate him and directing his son to become a good Muslim, then later on after the child is grown and on the basis of the will and discretion he becomes Muslim again, or exit from Islam (apostate), the parents no sin, because it was outside its obligations even though he still has the right to advise him.

Children who berperilakau ugly should be sought improvement, while there are other ways that can be achieved especially if it should not be excommunicated until kekeluargaannya disconnected, because the maintenance of the child remains the obligation of parents. Innocent people who decide the ruling family relationships. Similarly, even if it is different religion, but the relationship nasabnya will not be eliminated. Only in relation to inheritance of its provisions are different. Because Islamic inheritance in addition based on the existence of familial and marital relationships are also embracing the principles of Islamic personality, meaning that the transition occurs only when the estate between the heirs and the heirs are both Muslim. Therefore, children who are not Muslim are not entitled to inheritance from their parents who are Muslim. In contrast, parents who are not Muslim are not entitled to inherit from her Muslim Bergama. This provision is based on the Prophet, narrated al-Bukhari, Muslim from Usama ibn Zayd:

 

لَا يَرِثُ الْمُسْلِمُ الْكَافِرَ وَلَا يَرِثُ الْكَافِرُ الْمُسْلِمَ [رواه البخاري ومسلم]

 

It means: "Muslims do not inherit the infidels and unbelievers do not inherit from Muslims."